Today is Thursday the 13th of October, 2005.

Soon I will be a grandma to my first grandchild, I cannot wait. My daughter is positively blooming these days, and happier than I have ever seen her. Soon
she will know the full capacity of a Mothers love, with all the Sweetness and at
times the bitter-sweetness that it entitles us to. I wish her many many blessings.
I wish I could mother my children all over again, from infancy on up, but of course
we get older and so do they.

Somehow I have forgotten at times how to be just me, and not someone's mother or wife. My identity for as long as I recall, has been more of a caregiver than anything else. I am often not thought of as someone who needs a friend, a shoulder, someone to listen and care. Usually I am the one who is called in a crisis, to "make it all better." I am very lonely at times, and lost. This is one of those times. This has been a difficult week to
get through, so I am trying to count my blessings in a very big way today. Thank you
God for your faithfulness.
Eyes to heaven........Song